Triple marker test came back:
NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL
(That is three normals if you're counting)
J J J
In the U.S., we have these infomercials for a product called the “Wax Vac”. The whole idea of this product is that it is a vacuum that sucks wax out of your ear. The commercial goes on to talk about how dangerous Q-tips are and what not. Every time I see this commercial I think or say "What kind of idiot doesn’t know how to use a Q-tip?". Well, the kind of idiot who is 5’6', lives in Texas, writes on a blog called “mydreamsareinfaroffplaces” and manages to puncture her eardrum with a Q-tip.
So I go to the emergency room. I'm completely embarrassed to admit that I don’t even know that if blood is coming from my ear that I should just go to the ER…. Nope, gotta check the internet. After Google says "Get your ass to the emergency room”, I head down, only to be more embarrassed when I have to explain what I have done. After a great wait, I eventually make my way to the back and the doctor gives me this intense lecture about how bad and irresponsible it is to use these simple little cotton balls on a stick. Then after the scornful lecture, I kid you not - he cocks his head, looks down, and smoothes out his voice in that Matthew McConaughey, gotta love Texas men accent and says “but I still use them”. I was in so much pain that I bit my tongue in an attempt to not laugh out loud.