Sunday, November 18, 2012

To tell or not to tell....

In all seriousness, the “to tell or not to tell” decision is not something to take  lightly, and in the past I would not have told this early so I understand if your questioning the thought. But this year has been a rather difficult one. Not just for me, but for our entire family. My husband and I did lose our son, but the rest of our family lost  a loved one as well. I admit sometimes in this past year I have been selfish with my own grief and have forgoton others must be grieving as well. This baby in no way will ever replace the son we lost. But this pregnancy does represent happier times ahead, and I don’t feel that I can protect myself from pain by not embracing this joy . I want my friends and family to be able to celebrate as well.   Besides it is really hard to keep news this exciting to oneself.

We were fortunate that my father-in-law was visiting last weekend.  So we had the opportunity to tell him in person.   At dinner, my husband and I both raised our glasses for a celebratory toast - after we already had a few glasses of wine that is - and announced we are expecting. (I admit I adore the expression on peoples’ faces before we begin the “Gestational Carrier” talk).  He cautiously raised his glass in absolute  horror. I am sure he must have been thinking “I should be happy, but have they seriously lost their minds????”  Once we explained I wasn’t pregnant, we all laughed and he was immensely relieved that I wasn’t taking an “everything is better with alcohol” approach to pregnancy.  I am probably having more fun with the drinking to announce our baby than I should. But when and where else does a girl get to celebrate pregnancy with cocktails?  Why not have a little fun with it?


  1. How special that you were able to share the news with your FIL in person!

  2. It's funny seeing reactions from people when we say we're pregnant, being two guys. That initial look of confusion and happiness is pretty funny. I can only imagine his reaction was a balance of absolute joy and thoughts of fetal alcohol syndrome since you were drinking wine!

    The best part about having a baby through a gestational surrogate is that you can celebrate with champagne!

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